Tales From My Father: Emergency TP

by
posted on October 8, 2012
** When you buy products through the links on our site, we may earn a commission that supports NRA's mission to protect, preserve and defend the Second Amendment. **
wilder_ah2015_fs.jpg

I’ve heard plenty of funny hunting stories over the years, but one of my personal favorites comes from my Dad, set a year so before I was even born and just after my parents had moved in together.

Dad was in a goose pit one winter day with a couple hunting buddies and the family golden retriever when nature called.

Not wanting to offend anyone’s olfactory sense, he excused himself from the pit, found a secluded part of the field and “took care of business,” so to speak. It was then—and only then—that he realized he didn’t bring the bag of toiletries with him. Worse, he was pretty sure it wasn’t in the pit or truck. Nothing around looked appealing, either. Uh oh. Time to improvise.

Fast forward to the next day, where my Mom was getting a load of laundry together. She picked up Dad’s hunting clothes from the day before and noticed his boxers, though intact, had the rear end cut out.

She confronted Dad, and he explained that the back half of his cotton undergarments had been cut out and used as a substitute for his toilet paper. Her next question, obviously, was why he’d taken the time to cut them up rather than just using them whole.

“What if I had to go again?”

Well argued, old man, well argued.

Latest

Pennsylvania Game Commissionlede
Pennsylvania Game Commissionlede

2025-26 Pennsylvania Migratory Game Bird Seasons Set

Pennsylvania’s 2025-26 migratory game bird seasons have been set. There are two significant changes to waterfowl seasons. The regular season daily bag limit for Canada geese in the Atlantic Population Zone has decreased from three to one, and for northern pintail, there will be a flat daily bag limit of three.

New for 2025: Christensen Arms Evoke in 450 Bushmaster

Christensen Arms has announced the release of the Evoke rifle chambered in powerful 450 Bushmaster.

Oklahoma Wildlife Commission Passes Rules for Nonresident Hunters, Public Hunting Lands

New emergency rules and resolutions for public hunting lands were approved last month by the Oklahoma Wildlife Conservation Commission.

First Look: Premium and Premium Deluxe Die Sets From Redding Reloading Equipment

Redding Reloading Equipment has expanded its Premium Die Set and Premium Deluxe Die Set product lines, including over seventy of the most popular cartridges in the industry today.

Junior Hunter Gear: Get Your Kids Into the Field

Looking for ways to get your fields out from behind the screens and into the great outdoors this summer? Check out these great pieces of outdoor kit to help spur the process.

Stealth Cam Adds On-Demand Livestream

Shortly after teasing the launch of its new trail camera functionality at the 2025 SHOT Show, Stealth Cam has announced that On Demand Live Stream is available via the Command Pro app.

Interests



Get the best of American Hunter delivered to your inbox.