Whether you attribute it to a shrinking habitat, illness or just sheer dumb luck, this is an absolute: Deer don't like windows. Here are five stories of out-of-place whitetails smashing glass from the last week alone.
Police called Philadelphia homeowner Ron Philipose over the weekend of Oct. 20 to let him know that it was likely that someone had broken into his home while he and his family were out. Philipose met with officers at his house, and upon entry, found a mess—including plenty of blood and broken glass. The officers drew their guns and asked Philipose to head back outside while they investigated. What they ultimately found in the backroom, though, was surprising—a 300 pound deer. It had apparently broken through a fence and a window to gain entry, and proceeded to destroy everything in its path once inside. Pennsylvania Fish and Wildlife officers were summoned, but ultimately had the put the deer down when all attempts to remove it peacefully failed.
A buck in West Scranton, Pa., caused trouble on Oct. 22, when it leapt through the window of a hardware store. The store hadn't opened for the day, but fortunately a passerby noticed a gaping hole in one of the building's windows and alerted police. Before the buck was corralled it also busted a water pipe and did minor damage to the building's walls. Sadly, it also did enough damage to itself that the state game commission ultimately had to euthanize it.
Another buck, this one in Howell, Mich., burst through the window of the Howell First Presbyterian Church on the afternoon of Oct. 22. Once inside it made a break for the vacant child-care center and tried to exit through another window. That one, though, was made of Plexiglas, and the buck's efforts failed. He ultimately turned around and went back out the way he came. Did he realize he was a day late for the service?
A Jackson, Miss., business will need to renovate its break room, thanks to an unexpected visitor on Oct. 24. A whitetail entered the break room through a window and proceeded to knock over cabinets, boxes and furniture inside. Employees locked the deer in the room for "safekeeping," and animal control officers retrieved it and released it back into the wild. No word on if it was just angry at the snack machine.
Canada isn't immune, either. A deer made an impromptu appearance at a shopping plaza on Oct. 25, and ultimately smashed through the window of HighJinks Playcare Centre. That was reportedly after it had run into (but not broken) windows at National Sports, Baskin Robins and the Bank of Montreal. A serial window-killer. The deer ultimately escaped the plaza and wasn't located later.
Watch your windows, folks.