Big-game off-season got you feeling blue yet? Don't fret: A craft brewery is offering outdoorsmen and women nationwide a chance to do a little spring and summer hunting—and there's a seven-figure prize up for grabs, too. So long as you're willing to venture to the Pacific Northwest and scour the landscape for a creature that may or may not exist.
Olympia Beer—which is headquartered in Tumwater, Wash., a region that's no stranger to Bigfoot sightings—is offering a $1 million dollar reward to anyone who can capture a Bigfoot. The company stipulates that the borderline-mythological beast must be alive and breathing, and no worse for the wear. So leave your big bore rifles at home. The contest launched on April 1, 2013 and will run until March 31, 2014.
To keep it sporting, the company has said that any DNA evidence that "proves" the existence of Bigfoot will be enough to qualify. You don't necessarily have befriend one ala "Harry and the Henderson's" and somehow convince it to turn itself in to the brewery. I can't even begin to imagine how much "Bigfoot" hair will show up, only to later be identified as Labrador retriever. Lets just pretend for a moment that some old hair will be the worst of what's submitted...
If a winner is crowned (and that's a big IF), they'll receive $25,000 a year for the next 40 years. Olympia is serious about keeping the Bigfoot safe, too—if there's any evidence that you harmed an animal during your "hunt," they're committed to reporting you to the authorities. Harsh. Then again, there are some counties in Washington that have actual laws on the books preventing you from killing a Bigfoot or Sasquatch (should they ever turn out to be real). No word on if unicorns are covered, too.
All told, it's a nifty little marketing idea on Olympia's part—spring is here, so hiking and camping trips will be in the works. Shortly we'll experience the annual flood of Bigfoot "sightings" and accompanying YouTube videos that look like they were filmed using 1980s technology.
It's actually pretty convenient for Bigfoot that they only ever seem to wander into the path of bandana-wearing hikers and day-trippers, rather than into the sights of a hunter. Because, by now, a hunter somewhere would have put one of them down, if only because they mistook it for a bear. Wait... is that a sign that they're real, and intelligent?
Probably not. That said, if you were going to hunt a Bigfoot—sans firearm or bow—how would you go about it? I don't think anyone's gotten around to passing a law against baiting them yet.
You might have a heck of a time explaining that one to the game warden, though...