Moose Get Drunk, Form "Gang"

Drunken moose kept a man in Sweden from reaching his front door, forcing him to call the authorities for assistance.

Alcohol has a habit of driving those consuming it to do crazy things—though, in most cases, the perpetrators of are the human variety. In what's becoming a bit of an annual event, in Sweden, however, local moose have been getting inebriated and wreaking havoc across the countryside. The most recent event? A Stockholm man was forced to call the police after being barred from entrance to his own house by a group of downright drunk moose (which are more commonly called elk in Europe).

Before I get ahead of myself, I should note that our troublemakers aren't actually getting fix in the traditional fashion. No one's left a brewery unattended, or anything like that. According to reports, the moose are actually reaching their new "frame of mind," because they're eating rotten apples that have fermented. Apparently, this is a yearly occurrence in Sweden—when the apples fall from the trees each fall, local wildlife snacks on them. If the apples have been fermenting long enough, they do the same thing to a moose that a couple pints at the local bar would do to you or me. Heck, in 2011 a drunk moose managed to get itself tangled in a tree. Rescue services had to chop down branches to free the cow.

The aforementioned incident found our Stockholm resident returning to his home one evening, only to find no less than five surly moose standing between him and the front door. He called the police, but the "gang" of moose had moved on before the authorities arrived. That's always how things go, don't they? First they start drinking with their friends, the next thing you know, they join a gang.

Swedish authorities have said they receive dozens of calls about rogue drunk moose each fall. They take the issue quite seriously—moose can be dangerous sober, let alone when they're hammered. We've all seen what a human being can act like when they've had more than they can handle and start feeling bulletproof. Now imagine that same behavior from a wild bull moose—and not the Teddy Roosevelt kind—that could be pushing 1,500 lbs. That's not something to be trifled with.

So, for now, the folks over in Sweden will have to keep their eyes peeled for large mammals that have consumed a few too many barbiturates. The silver lining, I suppose, is that it's not often hard to see a moose coming. They tend to stand out.

I mean, really, the only alternative may be encouraging the local animal populations to seek help. "My name is Bullwinkle, and I'm..."

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