How to Cheat Hotel Security

If you can't sleep without your dog at the foot of the bed, but your hotel of choice doesn't allow pets, something has to give.

So here was my predicament: I was in Gettysburg, PA, for a wedding and, along with my girlfriend, I'd brought my dog.

I'd made two assumptions. A correct one: The Gettysburg Hotel doesn't allow dogs. And an incorrect one: Surely there is a rear entrance I can use to sneak my dog inside.

Now I found myself standing in a parking lot with a springer and a girlfriend blankly staring at me in utter disbelief.

What to do. I briefly considered sneaking my dog inside with the bridal party. Nah, I thought, They were ugly, but not that ugly. Instead, I left the car running with the A/C on. Granted, it was only a temporary plan, but it bought me some time.

After the wedding reception—a time when I've hatched many of my best ideas—I had a stroke of genius. We returned to the car and I asked my girlfriend to hold her suitcause open. Then I carefully lowered my dog inside. He was remarkably quiet and well behaved, demeaning as it must have been to get stuffed inside a suitcase. His head was exposed, however, because he'd made it clear that was one body part he refused to have treated like luggage. The sight of a dog's head poking out of a suitcase as it rolled down the street caused several passersby to double over in laughter. I'd need to be more discreet.

"Be good, this will only take a minute," I told my dog. He looked at me with big, knowing eyes, as if he understood, as I covered his head with my jacket.

All that was left to do was act cool as I strolled in the front door to the hotel. Adam Heggenstaller of Shooting Illustrated created a diversion by telling the bride to pose for photographs with the front desk clerks. The clerks never gave the guy wearing a suit covered in dog hair a second glance as he towed his suitcase on by. The people in the lobby elevator were quite surprised when I unzipped my suitcase and a dog popped out.

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1 Response to How to Cheat Hotel Security

LMH wrote:
August 19, 2009

I've read all your blog posts thus far, and this is the only one I can actually put into action.