My Perfect Sunday

I love hunting. I love football. My weekends from September to January are filled with both. During these months, I love life.

But there is trouble afoot in my happy little world.

In my home state of Maryland, Sunday bowhunting starts on Oct. 17 and stretches all the way until Nov. 14. My beloved Baltimore Ravens are playing on all but one of those dates. And now you see my problem. How can I pay proper attention to both?

Well, I've devised a plan. Here's how I'm going to get it done this coming Sunday:

4:30 am: Hit snooze button on alarm.

4:50 am:
Roll out of bed, kick alarm clock for good measure.

5:05 am: Shower with Scent Killer body soap and shampoo. Get dressed in Scent
gear and spray down before leaving.

5:10 am:
Load up the truck. Check lucky Buck knife for sharpness level.

5:15 am: Stab alarm clock with Buck knife...repeatedly.

5:30 am:
Start hour-long trip to hunting property.
6:40 am: Climb into treestand and attach HSS harness.

7:00 am: Wait.

8:00 am: Wait some more.

10:00 am: See a few non-shooters, begin to feel defeated.

11:00 am:
Start to feel hungry. Begin pining for the rut. Review some of this year's trail cam pictures on Blackberry.
12:00 pm:
Wonder where all the bucks went.

12:10 pm:
Climb down out of treestand and jump in truck. Head toward local Ruby Tuesday's restaurant to catch the 1 p.m. Ravens vs. Patriots game.

12:35 pm: Watch the pregame show on CBS, and have a refreshing beverage with some classic American fare.

1:00 pm:
Game begins. Ravens start to dismantle Tom Brady and those sissy New Englanders.

4:00 pm: Leave Ruby Tuesdays full and happy. Ravens won.

4:30 pm: Back in treestand for evening hunt.

6:00 pm: Kill this buck with a perfect double-lung shot. Rejoice.

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