"Animal Rights" Terrorists Hit Pheasant Farm

An "animal rights" group is claiming responsibility for vandalizing a pheasant farm last week in Scio, Ore. The group, which I'm unable to name due to my "No Press for Jerks" policy, is best known for its proclivity toward violence, and is considered a domestic terrorist group by the FBI.

Activists claimed in an email sent to various media outlets that they released 75 to 100 ringnecks so the birds wouldn't be "murdered" by hunters. The email did not provide comment on the many other "murderers," such as foxes, bobcats and hawks that are surely feasting on fresh rooster at this very moment.

"These birds are not being freed. They're going to die ... and these people think they're doing them a favor by releasing them," said farm owner Gary Bochsler. "It's total terrorism and it's not right."

So, Mr. Animal Rights, I'd like you to picture a red fox sinking its canines into a pheasant's upturned breasts. Please know that you had a direct role in the bird's fate.

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2 Responses to "Animal Rights" Terrorists Hit Pheasant Farm

Kyle Wintersteen wrote:
April 03, 2012

You don't see a problem with the destruction of private property?

Gale wrote:
April 01, 2012

I would like more information...foxes eat pheasants (and other fowl), so i dont see a problem here...However I Do Not Approve of Inappropriate methods!