Attention Purina: I Am For Sale

Purina has a long history of sponsoring field trials, hunt tests, NAVHDA events and other gundog games. It's proven to be a very strong marketing plan—support the hunting community, get dog owners to try the product and in turn sell dog food. One thing Purina has never done, however, is sponsor an individual dog.

Enter Zuke's, a manufacturer of "performance-driven" pet treats, which has begun sponsoring individual canine athletes in "dock dogs" competitions and other games. According to the Gear Junkie blog, Zuke’s sponsors about a dozen dogs with treats and cash.

So, Purina, this begs a question: Why haven't you sponsored an individual field-trial dog? Do you think it's better policy to support the whole community rather than a single animal? Perhaps you fear it would seem tacky, or offend the bird-dog community's profound sense of tradition.

Nonsense! I'm here to tell you as an avid field trialer that sponsoring a dog would be the best thing you ever did. And, I'll tell ya' what, I so appreciate your long-term support of our game that I'll do you a favor: You have my permission to sponsor my trial dog, Freedom.

Now, before you go getting all "OMG we love you so much!" on me, I must insist on an annual sponsorship payment of $80,000. You know, not a profitable sum, just enough for me to play the game without continuing to teeter on the brink of financial ruin.

Please let me know your stipulations. If they include changing my dog's name from "FC Sunrise First Freedom" to "FC Purina Chosen By Champions," or dying his torso with the Purina logo, I am totally cool with that. I look forward to hearing from you.

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2 Responses to Attention Purina: I Am For Sale

KyleW wrote:
August 20, 2010

@PurinaPR You have hurt my feelings. I will take my sales pitch elsewhere. I hear Ol' Roy is very interested.

PurinaPR wrote:
August 20, 2010

Kyle, if you think we're going to pay $80k to sponsor your in-bred mutt, you're dumber than you look. We'd sooner eat a bowl of Pro Plan shredded blend.