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Illinois Recommends Vomit as Rape Deterrent?

By Jeff Johnston

The Internet Rumor: I saw a post on Facebook recently that rather disgustingly illustrates that the Illinois State Police recommend that women vomit on attackers to thwart would-be rapists. While Illinois is the only state in the Union that does not have any type of concealed carry options for law abiding citizens, I figured that this was just another urban internet legend. So I researched it.

The Google Research: It took me 25 seconds to find the official Illinois State Police website where I found the evidence. Read here and weep, fellow freedom and crime fighting citizens. It also suggests that women carry such crime fighting tools as nail files or a teasing brush.

Terrific, Illinois State Police and Congress. Thanks for the help.

The Awful Scenario: Large, drug-influenced, hardened criminal intent on rape spies his victim in a shadowy parking lot and subdues her with a crushing hand around the neck.

The women gasps: "Stop, Mr. Bad Man, lest I wallop you with this teasing brush and puke on you!"

The Conclusion: The Internet rumor is true. Illinois State Police recommend that women try to talk their way out of a rape, and if that doesn't work, vomit on the attacker, rather than use the tool that is the ultimate equalizer, and the one thing that interviewed prison inmates have stated they truly fear: The citizen armed with a firearm.

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3 Responses to Illinois Recommends Vomit as Rape Deterrent?

Steve wrote:
February 23, 2012

Haven't you heard that the Second Coming has occurred in Cook Co.? The dead are resurrected at election time.

Pete wrote:
February 23, 2012

And the truly sad thing is that our President follows this Illinois belief system. The good news is that radiation poisoning causes vomiting so we will be able to defend ourselves after Iran nukes us.

Concerned IL resident wrote:
February 17, 2012

I can also conrifrm this, as I am a IL resident. The shame is that no matter how many times we try and vote these backwards law makers out, they still "win" the election. Case in point, last Gov. of IL election. ALL but 2 counties voted Republican. The two counties that voted democrat? Cook (Chicago)and East St. Louis. Most of us that live in this state would be more than happy to vote chicago out of the state with its crooked and backwards ways.