Fast Food Is Good For You

A doctor says fast food is bad for you, but your do-gooding blogger disagrees.

The Summary: Doctor Joanna Dolgoff reports that fast food is terrible for you, causing long-term heath problems and obesity. In her article, she asks if any fast food is good for people, and she cites ways to make fast food healthier, like ordering water instead of soda. Big shocker there.

Jeff’s Take: I may be hampered by my acute lack of medical school training, but Dr. Dolgoff failed to mention a few fast food groups that are wonderful for all of us. I trust it’s simply forgetfulness and not an anti-gun/anti-hunting bias or anything of that order, but when I want some fast food, I go to my freezer and unthaw a quarter-pound pack of pronghorn antelope steaks. I wonder if the good doctor knows that these “speed goats” can run 55 miles per hour in a headwind? Woman, that’s fast! Or, if you’re like Kyle Wintersteen—who finally brought down a 65-mph duck because he finally led one enough—you might cook up a prime, lean breast of canvasback and know that you’re doing conservation and your cholesterol a big flavorful favor. And that’s never a bad thing.

Recommended Gear: For fast food you need a fast rifle, a good pair of fast boots with speed laces and a roll of 100 mph tape—just in case.

Alternate Headline: Fast Food Is Good For You, If You Can Catch It

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2 Responses to Fast Food Is Good For You

jeff wrote:
December 15, 2010

Julie, I recommend the blackbuck, a small, speedy spiral horned antelope that's native to India. Thank the fast food gods for us, they now have more blackbucks in Texas that they ever did in India. They are very fast and so very tasty, but do not despair, they are not faster than a bullet from your .243 Winchester.

Julie wrote:
December 15, 2010

Mr. Johnston, I enjoyed your blog and very much like your alternate headline ' Fast Food is Good for you, IF YOU CAN CATCH IT!' Is there any other catch besides goats that are fast but delicious? Any recommendation? Thx