Montana Woman Fends off Bear Attack with Zucchini
9/24/2010
The Summary: The Associated Press reports that a woman in Frenchtown, Mont., fended off an unruly black bear as it scuffled with her collie and tried to enter her house. Her weapon? A foot-long zucchini. She came out of the battle with only a clawed pair of jeans, and a sheepish-looking dog.
Jeff’s Take: I might have chosen a .45 Colt with hot handloads, a 270 WSM or a Rem. 870 scatter gun stoked with buckshot, but hey, I wasn’t there and the lady did the best she could with what she had. If I were in her situation, I’d have likely screamed and cowered behind the bathroom door. For her sake, I’m just glad she didn’t have any ranch dressing handy, or the bear might have decided it could palate the god-awful taste and hung around for the main course.
The Bear Scare Tactic: Grip the great zucchini firmly, but not so hard that youre hand shakes—that can be detrimental to accuracy. Then come over the top with the barrel of the vegetable in a fast snapping motion, and wrap the intruder smartly about the snout. Or throw it and flee. Just make sure to choose a large-caliber stalk. If you find you are fresh out of zucchini, substitute with a large cucumber, a broomhandle or, as the good sheriff Jim Wilson would advocate, a .44 Magnum.
Recommended Gear: Kimber PepperBlaster II; Benelli M2 Tactical
Alternate Headline: Vegetables Scare Boys, Bears Too
