Ten Things I'd Buy If I Weren't Getting Married
7/20/2010
As my fellow Twitter geeks are aware, earlier this year I got engaged. Yes, I'm very happy, but I'm also saving my tail off in order to pay for a wedding reception that will inevitably render me penniless again.
"How much is that going to cost you?" one of my buddies asked.
That's when it dawned on me: It's not the money, it's the trade-off—what economists refer to as
"opportunity cost"—that's weighing on my mind. Take, for instance, what I would rather could buy if I didn't have a wedding to pay for:
--A 20-foot custom Go-Devil duck boat with a 35hp Vanguard Surface Drive galvanized outboard, headlights, attached blind, camo paint and the trailer to go with it
--50 days of shooting instruction from Gil and Vicki Ash
--90 dozen Full Curl mallard decoys or 570 dozen Flambeau Classic mallard decoys
--Professionally trained (and legitimate) Elhew pointer
--A Benelli Super Black Eagle II and a custom-fitted Beretta DT10 Trident L Sporting with money left over for shells
--Speaking of shells, I could get 160 cases of Winchester AA target loads or 710 boxes of Federal Black Cloud
--A Benefactor Life membership in the NRA (if I didn't already have one) and a Lifetime membership in Delta Waterfowl
--Four fully outfitted South Dakota pheasant hunting trips, including airfare
--Mounted hen/drake pairs for up to 30 species of waterfowl
--800 rounds of 50-bird sporting clays
Of course, in reality next summer I will pay for a DJ plus dinner and drinks for 150 guests. That'll be good, too.