Berated by "The Gunny"

It just so happens that the first person we ran into at the 2011 Bass Pro Media Day in Las Vegas last week was by far the most famous. R. Lee Ermey, the infamous “Gunny,” was holding court at the Glock booth when we walked by, and I thought it seemed like a perfect time to live out one of my dreams—to be berated by the Gunny, Full Metal Jacket style.

He had a few good insults to throw my way. Can you top him?

I thought it would be a pleasant break from the ordinary to have you guys throw insults at this humble blogger for a chance at a prize. Glock was open to the idea and offered up a T-shirt and cap to any reader that can deal out a lighthearted, non-vulgar insult about my appearance, writing ability, hunting prowess or anything else you can think up. Don't be afraid to throw a few "you're so stupid" jokes in there. After all, making fun of your boys is what makes deer camp go ‘round.
  

Comment below with your entry and we'll pick our favorite at the end of next week. Good luck! 


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23 Responses to Berated by "The Gunny"

Hockeymac wrote:
February 27, 2011

"You're the reason some animals kill their young you worthless sack of bovine excrement."

Penguin Snuggler wrote:
February 10, 2011

You big weenie

Ben O wrote:
February 09, 2011

And the winner is....Ron S. Illinois for his Gunny inspired rant against me. Thanks to all of you for taking part and hope you keep reading. Great job, Ron! "Ben, you don't know GLOCK. If you did, you'd not only know how to shoot a GLOCK, you'd also know how to write about a GLOCK! Are you crying? There's no crying at the firing line you pampered weenie of a blogger. Now stand up right, hold your GLOCK properly, line up the front sights of that GLOCK and maybe, just maybe you'll finally hit what you're aiming at. Now take a hold of your GLOCK, line up the sights, take aim and shoot that GLOCK you bloghole!"

mdboxster wrote:
February 02, 2011

Why your so stupid you would bugger up the receipe for ice water! Thats your girlfriend? She so big if we gave her high heels she would run em down to flip flops.

Hacked wrote:
February 02, 2011

What's up with you? You look like your cat died before he finished your chin lickin' this morning. I hope that ain;t what you're callin whiskers. Looks like peach fuzz to me. And the Glock? You need a real gun. Get you a 1911 and quit messin' around about it. Grow up, you panty waisted little fairy. You are a boy aren't you? You ain't one of those don't ask don't tell fellas are you? If you are, don't come round here crying when some girl punks you out you two bit cheese eater. You should do something about that mousey voice of yours too. My sisters sound more like a man that you. Now stick that thumb back in your mouth and carry this 'ere teddy bear for a while. Hup too you limp jack leg, I said move it, do you hear?

Ben O wrote:
February 01, 2011

I was beginning to get a little skeptical but Zermoid, Skinns, Rich, Devil and Ron got the point! Thanks for commenting. I'm off to comb my fuzzy boy-beard now.

Zermoid wrote:
February 01, 2011

The fact that Gunny would be seen around Glocks makes me wonder if he's getting soft in his old age...... Real guns are made of Steel, not plastic, if you are to wimpy to carry a real gun you might as well just start buying your guns from 'Toys R Us'! Might as well go back to suckin' yer thumb too while you are at it....... Sad, really sad.

Skinns wrote:
February 01, 2011

Glock! You wanna shoot a Glock! Maybe we should run over to Mamby Pamby Land and get you a Red Rider BB Gun! Now get your fuzzy faced weasel butt outta here before somebody mistakes you for a prairie dog and blows your damn gonads off boy!

Rich F. Pgh. Pa wrote:
February 01, 2011

OK BENNY BOY...WE SEE YOUR MAIN MALFUCTION SON.YOUR MOMMA PULL YOU FROM THE BREAST TO SOON. GET A HAIR CUT BUY A GLOCK AND BE A MAN . I CAN'T HEAR YOU BENNY...DROP AND GIVE US TWENTY.

Devil Doc wrote:
January 31, 2011

WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION BLOGGER? I KNOW IT ISN'T THAT GLOCK, SO IT MUST BE YOU!! YOUR DAYS OF FONDLING A CHEAP LITTLE PINK 38 SPECIAL ARE OVER!!! DROP YOUR SOCKS AND GRAB YOUR GLOCK! YOU HAD BETTER GIVE ME 110% AND BE COCKED, LOCKED, AND READY TO ROCK! THAT 10 RING HAD BETTER BE GONE OR YOU WILL BE DOING PUSH UPS UNTIL MY GLOCK MALFUNTIONS THAT SCRUFF ON YOUR CHIN WILL LOOK LIKE RIP VANWINKLES BY THE TIME MY GLOCK MALFUNCTIONS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND BLOGGER?

Ron S. Illinois wrote:
January 31, 2011

Ben, you don't know GLOCK. If you did, you'd not only know how to shoot a GLOCK, you'd also know how to write about a GLOCK! Are you crying? There's no crying at the firing line you pampered weenie of a blogger. Now stand up right, hold your GLOCK properly, line up the front sights of that GLOCK and maybe, just maybe you'll finally hit what you're aiming at. Now take a hold of your GLOCK, line up the sights, take aim and shoot that GLOCK you bloghole!

Wayne wrote:
January 31, 2011

Stand up when I talk to you! You are standing? Oh for pete's sake don't they have any standards here? Does your mommy know your here with real men playing with real guns like Glocks? Maybe you had better go home and get a note from her so we know your allowed to be here. And you might want to bring a milk crate back with you so you can look me in the eye and stop talking to my belt buckle!Now get going before I use you for a bore snake. Lord knows you might look better afterwards.

2 Locks wrote:
January 31, 2011

YOU CALL YOURSELF A WHAT?!?!?!... A BLOGGER??... WHAT KIND OF FLEA FLIPPIN' FREAK FEST FELCHER WOULD WANT TO BE CALLED A BLOGGER?!?! YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T JUST FLICK YOU LIKE FLYIN' BOOGER, YOU WIMPY FUR FACED FUDPUCKER!!!!

Gunny-G wrote:
January 31, 2011

Maggot, I wanna know why, just exactly why, you cultivate on your face what grows wild down South.

Jack Wagon wrote:
January 30, 2011

You little no good, wussy-faced Maggot! You don't deserve a blog. Go join PETA where you belong! And don't come back

Ben O wrote:
January 30, 2011

That's more like it, Cannonman!

Cannonman wrote:
January 29, 2011

Where is the challenge in insulting a pastyface twit like you? Just where do you get off thinking you deserved to be berated by such a highly esteemed veteran like the "Gunny" anyway? You will never be man enough to even pick up my shell casings let alone his. Now give me 50 squat thrust and get back in formation. Now "maggot" move it!!!!!!!!!

Takhequus wrote:
January 28, 2011

"LOOK MAGGOT....DO YOU WANNA LOOK LIKE THE SOUTH END OF A NORTH BOUND DOE...OR DO YA' WANNA BE A BIG BUCK LIKE NUGGENT.....GO GET A SHOT OF TESTOSTERONE AND GROW SOME REAL FUR....YOU'LL DRIVE THE DOES WILD WHEN DA' RUT HITS...NOW DROP AN' GIVE ERMEY 50 MAGGOT!!!"

jimmy rabbit wrote:
January 28, 2011

I know why you're not holding a contest for the worst hunter: You can't win your own contest, Benny Boy. Grow up and let the young bucks do the same.

jamesj wrote:
January 28, 2011

I don't know what's uglier: You with that pathetic boy-beard, or a glock 19.

Ben O wrote:
January 28, 2011

Come on guys! You can do better than that. Watch the Gunny video one more time. Thanks for keeping it clean though.

Adam wrote:
January 28, 2011

You're too young to look that beat up! lol

Joker wrote:
January 28, 2011

I can honesly say I've never seen anything like this on line. What a joker. You're so ugly....your mom had to tie a pork chop around your neck so the dog would play with you! I want that hat